Monday, March 2, 2009

Detox Day 2

I am approaching night 3 of my chemical detox from Ambien. Or actually i should say night 2, since the first night doesn't really count considering i more or less passed out from drinking an entire bottle of wine by myself. What gives? Given to the fact that we're not going to count the first night, I'll recount last night as my first night. Below is the series of events..

9:30pm: Jon narcked out on me.. I say "narcked" in reference to him practically being a narcoleptic. He can fall asleep in literally less than a minute, and will sleep and sleep and sleep. I'm highly jealous. I have evidence of the sorts, which i will present to you:

Exhibit A: The bathroom floor

Exhibit B: My 7 year old nieces bed (nestled under Hannah Montana)

12:00am: Thinking to myself, Jon has already gotten more sleep tonight then i will the rest of the night. Again, highly jealous.

1:00am: I find myself watching interesting infomercials. Including one for a drug called Alteril which is an all natural sleep medicine. For the first time in my life i consider calling the 1-800 number and ordering from an infomercial. At this rate I'd probably call and buy a SHAMWOW if it came on.

1:45am: I find myself on which makes me giggle.

2:00am: I officially shut the TV off, thinking it keeps my brain running and doesn't help. I turn the lamp off and sit in the dark like some sort of loony hoping the darkness will make me feel any sort of tired. All i can think is how weird would this look right now if Jon happened to wake out of his coma and see me just sitting here in the dark. C.R.E.E.P.Y.

2:05am: Get creeped out and think the ficus tree in my kitchen is staring at me. Bad ficus, Bad. Open my computer for a little light.

2:30am: Run out of things to google. Start sampling all the soundscape albums in the itunes store. Crickets, annoying.. Rain, makes me want to pee.. Thunder, startles me.. The thought occurs to me the only thing that might lull me to sleep is the sound of a ticking clock. I scour the itunes store and can't find anything and wonder how much money i could make if i were to produce a ticking clock album??

3:00am: Crawl into bed with Jon, who has taken my pillow hostage under his head. With no concern for awakening him i weasel the pillow out from underneath him, only for him to smack his head on the head board. He doesn't even wake up. He's still in his sleep coma.

3:10am: Literally start counting sheep. I get to 2 and then start thinking 1,2 Freddie's coming for you.. 3,4 better shut the door.. 5,6 better crucifix.. 7,8 better stay up late.. 9,10 never sleep again. This creeps me out and reaffirms the fact that I'll never sleep so i stop counting.

3:11am-4:00am: Fall asleep FINALLY.. only to awaken in hour minute intervals the rest of the night (err...morning). Might i mention Jon has already received what is considered a full nights sleep by the time i am just going to bed.

10:00am: Wake up.

I'm really hoping to break this pattern. I've always had insomnia, but have never really tried what the doctor most recommends, which is a good diet, exercise, and regular sleep patterns. I'm working on the diet, have started exercising, and now if only i could get myself on a 11pm-9am sleep pattern. I'm determined though. Had i just taken an Ambien, my night last night would have played out like this:

9:30pm: Jon narcks out on me, i take my Ambien.

11:00pm: The Ambien kicks in.

12:00am: I fall into a deep sleep.

9am: I wake.

We'll see how tonight goes. If this keeps up i should be able to keep up on my blog at least. I run out of things to do in the midnight hours. I think i shall go pour myself a glass of wine as a quick fix.


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