Saturday, April 18, 2009

To china or not to china?

I'd be quoting myself if i were to write "I don't want to register for china. I don't really see the need for it and don't have a china cabinet, nor do i ever entertain anyone. Plus, I'd much rather register for and get other things." Follow that up with a more lengthy continuation of going on and on about how every bridal magazine says china is the number one thing to register for and china this and china that and how for whatever reason i just don't want to register for china. DAMN YOU CHINA!

Of course it would have been helpful had i known the the tid bit of information regarding the fact that my soon to be mother-in-law has a tradition of purchasing china for each one of her son's for their wedding. Apparently i was out of the loop on that one while i ran my mouth regarding the topic in front of said soon to be mother-in-law who i am convinced has permanently black listed me from any hopes of being on her good side. Open mouth and insert foot right?

It wasn't so much that I'm anti-china. I guess i just assumed who would want to purchase china for us? And it's the sort of thing you can't half own, so not really knowing how much china costs and assuming it's expensive, i wouldn't want people buying pieces and then not having a complete set and knowing myself never going out and finishing the purchase.

Now enter a trip to Macy's to scope out the registering possibilities while downtown today. All of the sudden i find myself spending an hour in the china department ooo-ing and aaah-ing over this pattern and that color and that accent plate. And i wasn't alone in this venture. Jon was just as excited about every possibility china has to offer as well. I was like a meth addict in a meth lab. When did i care so feverishly about china?

It's typical to my pattern of behaviour regarding this wedding. I know i must be annoying considering I've done a complete 180 on every choice thus far. Maybe the planning would go a lot smoother if i just took everything i think i want and do the exact opposite and save me the time of eventually changing my mind anyways.

Still.. We didn't register today, only went in to get information to see if we needed an appointment or whatnot. I think we'll tackle that project next weekend. And even though i know Jon's mom will have us pick out of a special catalog which china set to register for, i am all the sudden impatient and all i want to do is pick out our china. What gives?

Monday, April 13, 2009

Just Because..

Excerpt from my diary:
February 9, 2009
I felt compelled to get on and ramble for a while. I was trying to think of something to put in my blog, but then I realized I should just write some words of my own for myself. Sometimes Jon has these ways of making me feel special, when I really know he means it. Or maybe it’s that he knows me just enough to know just what I need. He’s said it a few times, but today he just said “I’m so proud of you.” and I asked him why and he said just because for going back to school and doing your best. He’s very encouraging of anything I want, and I guess that makes me very lucky. I have a hard time reciprocating those sentiments. But times like today when he just made me feel special in some uncanny meaningless way, it really did mean the world to me. And I remember the things like that that make me love him.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Stone Cold Vs. The Rock

Among the excitement of a night of baseball season openers and basketball championship playoffs, my evening ends with this statement.

"I guess the Stone Cold with have to beat The Rock tomorrow night."

It began more along the lines of "But I'm THIS CLOSE to beating The Rock!" That was the plee i heard after finishing 9 straight hours of torturous math homework detailing the factoring of polynomials, trinomials, and what ever else nomial may have you. So, exhausted and seeing numbers much in the way one might still see packman race across the ceiling after 9 straight hours at an arcade I decide to make my way downstairs. All i want to do is take in 30 minutes of some me time in front of the TV before tackling my next 5 straight hours through the night homework from hell physics assignment. So I politely ask Jon if he wouldn’t mind pausing his game so I can just watch 30 minutes of TV before hitting the books again.

Ten minutes later I finally get him to pause the game and turn on the TV. To my surprise two episodes of The Hills had recorded. Alas, the return of my smut guilty pleasure of a show. Usually at about the point where I press play and the voice over of “Previously on The Hills” hits Jon’s ear canal he turns to head upstairs. Except tonight he didn’t. Tonight he watched not one, but two episodes with me. Upon finishing the shows in a sigh of defeat Jon proclaims “It’s the Twins season opener game and the championship basketball game and I just spent an hour watching The Hills.” In defiance of him denying our magical Hills moment together, I reminded him that he watched it by choice. I told him he could have went upstairs and watched it like he would any other night. Then I reminded him that he was playing video games before I even came down and wasn’t watching the games anyways. And with that he remembered his game waiting on pause. Without skipping a beat he picks up the controller and this time in my sigh of defeat I get up to permanently affix myself to the kitchen table for the rest of the midnight hours doing homework (or blogging at a successful attempt in procrastination.)

Then it happened. I must have forgotten the 11th commandment that states “thou shalt not cross the path of the TV whilst video games hath being played.” Had I read past 10 I may have avoided the blood curdling shrieks that came from Jon as he screamed NOOOOOOOO. Then I look over my shoulder and witness Stone Cold Steve Austin being pinned by The Rock. Apparently I walked across the screen in the perfect amount of timing that it took to block the one button he needed to see to push to avoid being pinned. Yes, the last 2 hours you spent on this match were a waste. (Na Na Na Boo Boo) Sorry.

And so it ends with him saying “I guess the Stone Cold will have to beat The Rock tomorrow night” and me saying “I guess Heidi will have to dump Spencer next week.” And that’s just a typical night in the life of Jon & I.

See you and me
Have a better time than most can dream
Have it better than the best
Whatever tears at us
Whatever holds us down
And if nothing can be done
We’ll make the best of what’s around

Thursday, March 19, 2009

OCD: Obsessive Cullen Disorder

About three things i am absolutely positive:

First- Edward is a fictional vampire.
Second- There is a part of him, and I'm pretty sure i know how dominant that part is, that takes on the human form of Robert Pattinson and makes me thirst for his blood.
Third- I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Yes, i have a severe crush on a fictional vampire. I heart Edward Cullen. Me and Edward, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. I'm love struck, and it's bad. Since i picked up the book Twilight i couldn't put it down, finishing it in under a week. No story line has ever effected me the way this story has. Effected me in a way such as i literally do have a crush on a fictional vampire. Maybe it's because i can put a face to the character, which is the face of Robert Pattinson, who to be honest i was never sure why there was such a big fuss over him. Now i know why. Girls probably aren't attracted to him, they're just attracted to the character he plays, Edward. I've had Edward Cullen dreams. And the other morning as i woke up, i woke up to Jon biting my hand as he exclaimed, "I'm Edward Cullen." True story. Makes me wonder if he'll continue this role playing all the way to the alter. Do you Heather, take Edward, to be your lawfully married Vampire.. I DO! Yes, Jon is reading the series too and is actually half way through the second book, New Moon. We have an open relationship. I told him he's allowed to have a crush on Alice, but he prefers Bella. But they're no match to my Edward. MY Edward.. I just hope Jon doesn't try gnawing at my jugular in the middle of the night in an attempt to win back my affection.

For now at least i have finished the first book, and Jon & I await our date tomorrow night at 12:01am when Twilight is released on DVD and the HD on Demand channel. We plan on renting it right at 12:01am and probably will watch it again on Saturday, being the rental lasts on your tv for 24 hours. Until then, i will have to settle with reading New Moon and patiently await the release of that movie in November.

You may doubt the possibility of falling deeply in love with a fictional character, and a vampire nonetheless, but pick up the book and read the first chapter. I guarantee you won't be able to put it down and that by the books end you'll be engaging in a cat fight with me claiming Edward Cullen is yours. But he'll always be mine. I heart Edward Cullen!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Underwater Misadventures

Do you ever have those moments when you think to yourself, "Really, did i really just say that?" Needless to say i have those moments quite frequently.

Take today for instance. I happened to sit in the student lounge for once to socialize in between class rather then sitting in the library to avoid the people who i find rather annoying, like Barbi. First of all, if your name is Barbi you automatically are considered annoying in my book without even having to say or do anything. So today i decide to sit with my peeps in the lounge mainly because i wanted to compare answers on my physics take home quiz. Well, not mainly. That was the sole reason for my social hour rendezvous. In doing so i had to sit and pretend to be interested in Barbi and stories of her boyfriend Stephen and how she forgot her shoes at his house which is two hours away and how she hates the long drive and how she just bought another pair of really cool aeropostale jeans and that her job sucks and she hates working at Underwater Adventures. At that point i had to just laugh to myself and feel bad for her knowing she's sitting there making all but $7/hour at some shit job at the Mall of America. So somewhere between Underwater Adventures and for the first time me wanting to actually go to physics just to get away from her, she started talking about puffer fish. Barbi, being the underwater expert she is and all because she works as a cashier at an aquarium inside of a friggen mall in the mid-west, felt the need to describe how puffer fish can kill themselves by puffing up because it takes so much energy in doing so with sucking in all that water. Paying attention in a half assed sort of way i decided to play a contributing part in this so called social hour and said "I don't know why the thought just occurred to me that they puff up by sucking in water. I guess i always just imagined it was air.. But if they're underwater it would have to be water right?"

The looks i got from Barbi were condemning. And yes, i know it was stupid, and i'm known to say some very very stupid things, but don't give me that look. I wanted to rip out my mid-term progress report we got two weeks ago and be like i'm ranked #1 in our class, so eat that BARBARA. Because that's your name, Barbara, not Barbi! Someone has to be #1. That someone just so happens to think puffer fish always filled up with air underwater.

Ah yes. Another day at school.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Screw you Google Ads!

Even Google Ads is mocking me. I really can't even tell you what this whole google adsense thing is. I was bored some random night at about 1am when i tend to do my blogging, and i saw something about make money off your blog by advertising. I have no idea if this is legit, nor have i read any of the 5 emails sitting in my inbox regarding my account. I have no clue how it works, how it picks the ads, if they pick it based on your content, or if you can even pick your own ads. What i do know is that with my all but 2 followers (No thanks to you illegitimate readers.. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Create a login and follow me already!) I intend to make no money. I signed up more so out of curiosity and intend on removing this function shortly.

And then I happened to notice my Google Ad while pulling up my blog tonight.

Waking up at 2am?
Get a full nights sleep.
Learn how.

Curious, and disregarding the one and only Google Adsense rule i happened to have glanced over which is the invalid clicks of clicking on your own ads, i was brought to a website for Lunesta - Prescription Sleep Aid.

Even Google is making a mockery out of me. Maybe it's a sign that i should talk about my sleeping disorders a little less. Which would leave me talking only about the idiosyncrasies of school, which just so happens to be my life right now. If only I could go on and on about the adventures of Jon & I's relationship without him getting furious with me, then I'd REALLY have blog material worth reading with material completely relatable to everyone who just isn't willing to admit it themselves!

Then again, I'm sure you don't want to read about how I was on my way OUT of the mall with all intentions of leaving Jon there to walk home (It's across the street..literally.. so don't feel bad for him). I have always referred to Jon as my disobedient 3 year old shopping companion, as literally in the nanosecond that i turn to eye up the Target dollar bin, i turn around a second later to find Jon has gone all David Blaine street magician disappearing act on me. Many an argument has ensued over this situation. It ends up in us completely losing each other and having to call each other and track each other down. So input a quick target run with the one and only mission of getting envelopes and turn that into me forgetting my phone on this what was supposed to be 2 minute Target run, Jon acting like he's David Blaine, and then me standing in the spot he left me for about 20 minutes just waiting for him to make his way back to me. All patience was lost, so luckily we found each other in the doorway as i was walking out to leave him there. Yes, that sounds very mean, but i can literally sit on my front steps and see Target, so he could have easily walked home. If Megan can make the foot crawl over there at 5am on Black Friday, Jon can do it!

Ah yes.. If only i could blog about my relationship.. Then again, i really don't want ad's for Dr. Phil either. There's no winning with you Google Ads!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Sudoku Vs. The Short Bus

A little homework for thought...Simplify the variables for the following expression:

H=Girl who sucks at math
M=Girl who enrolled in program involving nothing but complex math & physics skills
T=Girl who placed into not 1, but 2 short bus math classes not even eligible for college credit
X=Short bus math class 1
Y=Short bus math class 2
F=Future algebra and calculus classes


Answer: Girl who sucks at math probably shouldn't have picked an extremely math intensive program and opted for the online math class 1 where she didn't pay attention and used a calculator at home now making math class 2 all the more frustrating while in preparation for the future real math and physics classes needed to graduate.

It all sounds so difficult, right? I thought so too.

The days of Seriously Carla in MA096 are officially over. I'm actually in the second week of my next online math review, the one which will finally allow me to take algebra next semester. Even though i was suppose to take algebra in my first semester but wasn't allowed because of my placement testing so instead opted to bump up physics which was due second semester but essentially is all algebra. Hence my initial struggle with my Armenian nemesis. It's a vicious cycle.

Short bus class 1 was too easy. Not so much the material, as I'm still not the best at fractions, but more so because it was online and unlike the classroom environment i had my fancy smancy calculator in front of me ready and willing to punch out any answers i sought. Which really is dumb on my part because i was completing the work but i wasn't understanding it. And being it was my first ever online class i wasn't sure what to expect, and the way i had to hand in my answers didn't really force me to learn it. Now enter short bus class 2, which is essentially pre-algebra. Now this class has completely different submission techniques and is forcing me to actually work the problems. Turns out fractions really aren't that difficult. In 8 entire weeks of my first class i should have learned everything involved in simple mathematics with subtraction and addition and multiplying and division of whole numbers, integers, fractions and unknown variables. What i should have grasped in 8 weeks literally took me an hour during the review portion of my first assignment for my new math review class.

The worst part was that i was excited. All the sudden I'm all giddy thinking to myself, i don't suck at math. Why didn't they just tell me all you do is find the LCM and rework the fractions. Now I'm all homework happy and am treating these 200 problems due by Monday like it's some level 4 sudoku puzzle.

I compare this to sudoku for one reason and one reason only. If you've ever worked a sudoku puzzle (at least one of the difficult ones), then you probably share my frustration in spending 20 minutes getting a quarter of the puzzle done only to realize it doesn't work and have to erase everything and start all over. In sudoku you know the answer. You know it can only be numbers 1-9 going across, up, down and by sectional squares. Same principle with this new math class. He gives us the answers up front. All he cares about is us showing our work to prove that we understand the concept of HOW to get to the solution. Whereas the first class the professor only cared about the end result, this new professor focuses on the process. Hence, my FINALLY moment in all the sudden grasping any and all math concepts. Granted there was a lot of erasing and reworking that was done, but trial and error works as a learning process, apparently. Bring it bitches, I'm a subtracting fractional machine tonight.

*Disclaimer: The opinions stated in the above blog in reference to short bus math are the opinions of the author only and not the opinion of Blogger or Google. The author reserves all rights to poke fun at her math retardation by referring to her class as short bus math based solely on the fact that she physically and actually did ride a short bus to school for a few years. Any lawsuits brought forth as offense to the above statements may be referred to Mrs. Jarmish, my short bus school bus driver.*