Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Art of the Peace Offering

Fighting has become an art form for Jon and I. The most enjoyable part of fighting is where you start to come down, when things have been resolved but feelings are still hurt, where home field advantage turns into disadvantage and all is fair in who's right and wrong.

The funny thing about the end of an argument is that for me anyways, there is that awkward three days before life can return back to normalcy. You can most certainly forget make up BLEEP, because I'm still bitter, and will be bitter for 2-3 days. I do however take little steps throughout the course of the fight aftermath to make an attempt at resuming our normal lives.

I like to make my peace offerings in sutler harsh ways.

Instead of getting from me: "Honey, i made you some Delicious Spanish rice, would you like to have some?"
He gets (in a Hitler like tone) from me: "I made food, do you want some or not."

Nice enough gesture on my end.. I could have eaten it all myself, but that would have been very rude. Food around here is legal tender when it comes to fighting. I will purposely go out and buy a foot long sub from subway knowing we have no food in the house and he is starving, just to eat it in front of him and be like maybe if you weren't such an a**, then 6 inches of this could be yours! (I'm still waiting for the counter attack from him when he says well maybe if YOU weren't such a b*tch then this 6 inches could be yours. haha) It sounds so mean, but i will always cave. He got that last 6 inches, of course i felt bad and put it in the fridge for him.

Food does become peace offerings around here though. It turns into him saying thanks with his tail between his legs, and me being like whatever, i was hungry and had to cook something anyways. But we both know, the flood gates are now open for rehealing.

Then eventually he should say something of the sorts: "My heavenly domesticated goddess, what a wonderfully blissful job you have done on the house."
What i get from him, as he's frothing at his Spanish rice since he hasn't eaten is: "House looks nice."

[Quick fact- I power clean when i'm irate]

Baby steps people.. Baby steps..

This is day 2 of fight. Day 3 usually continues with a lighter heartier part of the rehealing process. Usually laundry related to initiate conversation. One or the other gives in and asks, "any laundry you'd like done?".. And as much as I'd like to say NO, BUT THERE'S SOME LAUNDRY I'D LIKE TO PACK, I refrain from it. (yes, Dane Cook reference!) Usually sometime along in the sorting process, 2 piece conversations start to take place, a sort of fill in of the last two days events and what they've missed. Then no sooner do you know it you're both gossiping like silly school folk and although there is still thin ice, you proceed, caution or no caution ahead.

And then finally day 4. BREATH! It has passed, life can resume as normal and you spend your time as if you had been away from each other those past 3 or 4 days and catch up on watching all of your missed recorded shows, because no matter how mad you are at the other deep down you know it would be wrong to watch without the other one. So as we're finally warily cuddling on the couch watching back to back recordings of American Idol, we start to comment as if we're music critics, starting little wagers on who will win or who will get kicked off.

Around that time is when i go into the kitchen and scoop out a bowl of ice cream, the official no words peace offering, and life is now able to resume as it was before. I set the bowl down in front of him, he eats his and i eat mine, and we sit there and just enjoy our ice cream and have weathered the storm.

The peace is in the food.. The peace is in the food..


Danielle said...

Maybe he picks a fight so you will clean the house?1 Have you thought of that you silly power cleaner!

Heather said...

That thought has occured to me once or twice! :)