Friday, January 9, 2009


As much of the fully functional responsible adult that I think I am these days, I often still surprise myself with random acts of childlike foolishness. Although I am ashamed to rehash the disastrous workings of yesterday or the events leading up to it, I do find it highly amusing to myself and maintain my open book life policy. So, here goes another life lesson learned!

I am a firm believer in the philosophy of your childhood upbringing doesn’t necessarily dictate the person you become in life. Recent events in my life have lead me to believe my theories are wrong.

My mom was by no means neglectful. However, being a single mom of 4 with a lack of health insurance, I am fully understanding of her not raising us on good dental check up morals. Flash forward 26 years and here I am, still not going to the dentist. After all, my chompers have never bothered me, so if it ain’t broke don’t fix it right? The thought finally occurred to me that I have been paying for dental insurance for 5 years now, and this said dental insurance comes with one free exam a year and two free cleanings per year and it is straight up absurd that I am not taking advantage of this and seeing a dentist regularly. In typical not knowing what you’ve got until it’s gone fashion, I decided that before I lose the insurance at the end of the month I should probably get my free exam and cleaning out of the deal.

How bad can it be? Plop in the chair, suffer through a little scraping, rinse with some fluoride, make my I intend to cancel follow up appointment and be done a half hour later right? WRONG! 2 hours, 9 cavities, and 1 case of gingivitis later I leave the dental office without a cleaning, 2 sets of x-rays due to the incompetent hygienist who messed them up the first round and had to re do them, and 3 follow up appointments. Total value of visit: $2700. Total coverage: 80%. What on earth happened to this free innocent trip to the dentist office before my insurance gets the axe? Why wouldn’t something like this happen to me? I am a poster child for hypochondriacs across America.

Is it wrong to feel dirty after such findings? I am a hygienic person. I will admit, I do only brush my teeth in the morning, and I don’t floss. Who really flosses? Honestly? Who flosses everyday? Apparently I am going to start, as well as brushing before bed and rinsing with Listerine on the hour every hour. In my defense, the cavities were extremely minimal as well as my case of inflamed gums. It’s not like my teeth are rotting and falling out. Is this karma for calling Jon Jongivitis?

Moral of the story. Go to the dentist if you’re due or you may end up with scurvy.

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